What's Sex?
by Pixie07
Summary: "How can I put something so big in a place so small?" Six year old Sasuke ask his family 'What is Sex' Will he find out? Who will be the one to deliver that information. Inspired by a joke. Sasuke, Itachi, Fugaku, Mikoto Uchiha. pre/non-massacre Complete
1. Chapter 1

_**CH 1.**_

It was a nice and beautiful summer Sunday afternoon at the Uchiha Mansion, when Itachi, for once in his life was acting according to his age. Giving up to the laziness that the hot sun outside delivered. The eleven year old was laying down flat on his stomach, his chin was resting on his folded arms that were over a pillow. He was enjoying the reading of an article about kunais out of his favorite Ninja Magazine. No far from him, just a few inches away, a plate with three dango stick,-originally were six- and a half cup of tea.

Its have been about ten minutes since he felt the piercing eyes in the back of his neck, _'Ignore it and will go away.'_ they would said, but who he was trying to lie to? He knew that 'it' will not go away. Letting soft sight the raven haired boy spoke kindly. "You can join me, if that's what you wish."

He didn't finished talking that the rushed and soft steps approached to his whereabouts. Another soft sigh escaped from the pre-teen. Sasuke was sitting in Indian position in front of his Nii-san. "Are you busy Nii-san?"

"No really."

"What are you reading?"

"An article about kunais."

"Oh..And is really important?"

_'There goes my peaceful afternoon.'_ Itachi thought before closing the magazine. His Otouto was making too much question, no an unusual thing for a six year old. However the Uchihas had never been normal kids. If the little one was making so many questions about nothing in particular and his eyes were looking anything but the interrogated person, it meant that he was hiding something, and didn't know how to say it.

"Sasuke," as the call of his name, the boy looked at his Nii-san, "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

Sasuke looked away, "What about questions? Can I ask you anything too?"

"Of course."

"And you would answer?"

"Yes." Itachi said as he half-sat, to reach for his fourth serving of dango.

The younger brother was troubled, what would his Nii-san think of him? The he was just a little kid that knows nothing? He felt embarrassed for that. "You won't think bad about me, right?"

Itachi shook his head no, since he grab a bite of his snack.

Sasuke took a few deep breaths and let out the question. "What is sex?"

**_Loading._**

Itachi's jaw almost touched the floor, his mouth was, so wide that the round treat that he was eating went rolling off to the other side of the living room. Itachi was a person of few words, but that was optional. And now he was not able how to even recall how to talk

_**Processing.**_

The future Uchiha leader managed to close his mouth. From where the hell did his innocent and sweet bother heard that word? Who was the responsible to corrupt him with such grown up matter? For Sheringan sake, himself was not comfortable with the subject, no matter how mature he was this topic was, was... Shivers. He wished for never asked his older cousin, Shisui, where babies come from last year. He was not looking forward to have the talk with his father, as Shisue told him that there were more things he would rather not tell.

At least his question was more innocent than this. Just the term 'sex' gave him the creeps, why would a woman let a man..., a chill run up to his spine.

_**Responding...**_

"Nii-san?"

Itachi was brought back to reality by the little one's call. He didn't have the guts to tell the awful and awkward nasty truth. "Oh.. Look at the time." he said and he picked himself up from the wooden floor.

"Where's you going Nii-san? You didn't answer my question." Sasuke trailed behind the running young ninja.

"I... I.._'think, think'_ I promise Shisui to help him with something." The older brother lied as he rushed towards the front door.

"You're lying, you said you'd be free today." Sasuke was mad now.

"I just remember."

"But Nii-san, you told me you would answer my question." Sasuke said almost crying as Itachi was putting on his shoes.

"Not this time Otouto." _'Neither next time'_, Not even bothering to poke his forehead, he was out of the door. Soldier who flees would serve in another war.

"Nii-saaaan!" he cried out, but it fell into empty ears.

_**TBC...**_

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><p><em><strong>AN: Hello, this was supost to be a one-shot I'm not happy with the end, and I am lacking of imagination for the closing scene, So i'm diviedint it in 3 chaps. I hope you like it and let me know what you think.**_

_**P.S: English is not my first language, so I apologies for grammar and spelling mistakes.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ch 2**_

Feeling betrayed, Sasuke went back to to leaving room and kicked the abandoned pillow, and.. Oops, by 'accident', the cold tea ended, up all over in this Nii-san's magazine, where the forgotten dango ended up smashed within its pages.

Satisfied with his vengeance, Sasuke walked to the kitchen and sat on one of the tall chair -for him, anyways- still mumbling 'Stupid, liar Nii-san.'

A sweet humming toned in the mouth of the beautiful Uchiha housewife, as she walked down the stair, with a full bin of dirty clothing that belonged to her boys. The harmonic tune, stopped when she reached to the main floor and saw the aftermath of what it seem a brotherly fight. She sighed, went out to the laundry room to leave the basket of clothing and walked back inside to clean the battlefield.

Minutes later, Mikoto walked into the kitchen, with the empty cup and dish in one hand and in the other the assaulted Ninja Issue. Knowing what happened to it, and who did it was beyond obvious. The frowny face of her youngest, was the absolute confirmation of her suspicion, still, she asked. "Do you know what happened to your brother's magazine?"

He just shrugged.

"Did you two had a fight?"

Another shrug.

The Uchiha woman let a sigh out and let the magazine in the table before she went to the sink to washed the dirty dish and mug. In her way back to the table she grabbed a rag. She sat across the child, and attempt to save the magazine, she did her best.

Mikoto saw that the child was still frowning, she felt the that something was wrong with him, not only the -what she thought- silly dispute with his brother. She intuited that there was more. "Is there something bothering you Sasuke? You know you know if there is anything that bothers you have to tell me, so I can help."

He shook his head no. What would mother think of him, for not knowing what it seem everyone knew? What if he was left alone again. What if she acted like his Nii-san? He couldn't take a second betrayal.

"Sasuke, come on sweetie, you can tell me." She plead.

"If I ask you something, Will you answer it?"

"Of course I will."

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything."

Putting all his trust again to someone, he breathe in and out a few times and let out the question that even his brave brother trembled at it. "What is sex?"

_**Loading.**_

Mikoto's onyx eyes were wide open, just like a deer in bright light. Her body tensed up, and went rock solid, not even Medusa would be able to pull such touch in her creations. Mikoto was a woman you could talk to about everything and she would always to give the right push, well almost... This took her by surprise, a big one at it.

_**Processing.**_

Who the hell corrupted her sweet and innocent baby? Who the hell had the balls to inject such topic to the his pure brain? Oh, no, that person better have a good insurance policy, because when she find them, blood will run. No one, no one talk to her baby about that and get away with it.

Wait... how was she going to explain it the process of life, lust, and love to a mere six years old boy. How could she scar the poor boy, who didn't know what he walked in. She can still remember the awkward moment when her mother entered to her room with a banana and doughnut on hand. Shivers.

_**Responding...**_

"Mommy? not you too." Sasuke pouted.

_'So that's the reason why he's upset with Itachi. Poor child of mine.'_

"Moomieeee." her young boy called her, very irritated.

Looking at the ruined magazine, she feared for her dearest plants, they suffered one time right after she scolded him , coincidence? She didn't think so. But she didn't wanted to be the one responsible to open the door of such perverse knowledge.

"Moomyyyy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry sweetie. But I'm afraid that I am not suitable for answering this."

Sasuke's chubby little cheeks puffed, he was angry, the red tint in his pale face was the proof "You said you would. Why is everyone lying to me?"

"I'm lying, I'll tell you, but not now, ok?"

"Why not now?"

"I... I _'think, think'_ I have to go to the store."

"You went yesterday." He yelled. Did they think he was three to believe their lies?

"Yes, but I forgot to buy... Tomato, yeah I forgot to, Silly me." She faked a laugh

"Lier."

"I am not lying. Besides, I need to get another magazine for Itachi." She made a scolding face. "Wonder what happened to it."

That made the child to cool down, messing up with Itachi's thing was a big no, no for him. His mom was actually saving him from an unknown fate. Sasuke was smart enough to know to where he could stretched his tantrums. "O.K." He said in defeat.

Looking the shamed face of the child, the woman mentally smiled to her victory, and then her precious son spoke once more. "Are you going to tell me when you come back, then?"

Mikoto let out a sigh, it didn't surprised that he wouldn't give up that easy. She knew how stubborn the child was, she gave birth to him, thirteen hours of labor, the damn brat didn't want to get out. Yeah she knew. When she thought she was running out of ideas, she heard her husband coughing from his studio. And that's when the trade mark Uchiha smirk appeared in her face.

Sasuke looked at his mother with suspicion, when she walked towards him and indicated him to followed her. Was another trick she was planing for him to fall for? Just one way to find out, he did as indicated.

The Uchiha mother stopped by Fugaku's door, and kneel down to the raven boy's level. "Your father is the most suitable for explain it. While I'm at the store, you should ask him." Her son raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "He is an expert in that subject. I guarantee you that you that much. Go." She gave him a little push "And don't take a no for an answer. Oh, please tell him that I said _**'We're even now'**_." With no more to said she kissed him good-bye, and she was off to the store. Leaving a dumbstruck Sasuke, he fail for it.

_**TBC...**_

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><p><strong><em>AN: Hi, thank you so much for the favs. fallows and reviews. This ch is not my favorite, I change a few things form what I had before, it better but still not so happy how it turned out. Next chapter would be the last. In that one I still need to make a lot of changes._**

**_Please R&R thank you..._**


	3. Chapter 3

_**CH 3**_

Sasuke knocked the door, not being completely sure if asking his father was good idea. Having his father approval was the thing he desired the most. Not knowing wouldn't be a sign of weakness in his father's eyes? It was too late now.

"You may come in." Sasuke hear him call him in.

Fugaku was in his desk, it was supposed to be his day off, but the leader of the Uchiha clan had too much work for enjoy the afternoon, almost evening now, with his family. But being the chief of the Military Police, procrastinate his paperwork was not an option.

His door opened, he was expecting to be his wife, walking in with a cup of hot tea. Instead, his youngest entered and sat in the chair in front of him.

"How can I help you Sasuke?" The father said without taking his eyes away from the files in front of him.

"I would like to ask you a question, if that is ok with you." His tone was polite and smooth.

"Go ahead." Eyes still in the document he was about to sign.

"Do you swear on Uchiha's pride, that you will answer?"

"Yes Sasuke, I swear." He rolled his eyes mentally. "Now ask, as you can see, I have work to do."

This time he didn't breath in and out, he just let go. "What is sex?"

_**Loading.**_

The hand that was holding his pen, went numb all the sudden, resulting a awful scribble in the document. His usual stern expression melted into surprised. Fugaku was person that would say the most awful truths without thinking twice, not caring if would hurt other, not even his children were safe from the hurtful words. But this was a kunai that he was not ready to be thrown yet.

_**Processing**_.

WHAT!? How? When? Where? WHO!?

The older man's mind was running hundred miles per hour. Not really grasping the question. Why would his six years old son was asking such mature question? Why he didn't ask, where babies come from? That would be takle in other direction, like 'dads put seeds in moms tummy.' and then go from there. But Noo! The kid just said it raw. Anesthesia no included.

For crying at laud he didn't even had the talk with Itachi. When his nephew informed him, that the child asked him about 'babies', and he gave the boy a honest replied, was happy to know that he didn't have to go to that awkward chat with him. Fugaku was going to wait until Itachi hit his teens years to cover what Shisui left out. And he truly, madly, deeply hoped for Sasuke go to his Nii-san and save him from this.

From where did Sasuke learn the word... Sex? Who was the one to poison his baby boy, yes Sasuke was his baby boy, even though he would never say it at laud. How they dare to drive his youngest to the end of his innocence. He felt his heart crack.

_**Responding.**_

"Father, you're going to tell me what sex is, right?"

"Ss.. .ke." He manage to move his mouth. "I... I..._'think, think.'_, That.. is a subject that would required a significant amount of time to unfold. Which I don't have. As you can see there's a lot of paperwork I need to sort."

"You sworn..."

"..."

"...on Uchiha's pride." The child narrowed his eyes.

"Sasuke, I'm working. Perhaps another time." _'When you turn twenty.'_

"No, I been asking all day. Nii-san lied to me then he make a lame excuse and left. Then when I asked mom, he lied too, and also leave, 'going to the store' she said. She told me to ask you, that you would explain it to me better than her, that you're an expert on it, and don't take a no for an answer, and that's what I'll do." Sasuke had enough, his little chest was panting after the boldness of raise his voice to his father. He would get his question answered. He needed to know, it was crucial piece of information he was missing.

'_So, he did asked Itachi about it. I guess there's things that child can not handle. I don't blame him.'_ Fugaku thought, and let out a sigh.

"Oh, mom told me to tell you that she said 'We're even now'. Whatever that means."

The Uchiha leader could feel his left eye twitching, '_That's low Mikoto, very low. Using our child to get me for forgetting our anniversary.'_ He was defeated.

"Very well Sasuke, I must warn you. Once tell you this, is impossible to go back. After you learn this, you will not be the same. Are you sure you want to me to proceed?" _'Please say no, say no.'_

"I am Uchiha, I can handle anything." He said proudly, _'How bad could it be, anyways?'_

Fugaku put on his most serious and formal face, folded his arms across his chest, -maybe to hide the shaking of his hands- Organizing the information he was about to give to the little boy in front on him. Who looked at him with anxiety, ready for crawl out of the ignorance. How could he wish to spare his son for knowing this. He would give anything for not being the one to do this. "When a woman and a man love each other so much, they..."

Fugaku explained his baby boy, how a kiss can lead to a hug and a hug to touching. Touching that lead to things to grow up, then they feel so 'warm' that they need it to remove all of their clothing. How the female body differed from the man's. What goes where, and a bunch of other things that he rather not repeat in his life to a child ever again. Not repeat at all.

"That's also how babies are made. And that is something ONLY MARRIED ADULTS DO!" The middle age man finished, he needed a couple of drinks.

Sasuke went from pale to green, from red to yellow. His stomach was kicking him hard. That information was too ill for it to take. He dig his cute little, well trimmed, nails in the chair's arm rial. His eyes wide open, no believing his ear. Why in the world would they something so yukie? and they enjoy it. Shiver. He felt like throwing up. Oh God, he was the result of the action. His father was right, he will never be the same. He almost regret to ask, but then he remembered why he needed to know this.

"H... How, How can I put something so big in a place so small?"

"Put what where? SASUKE, you don't put anything anywhere." The really scared, and concerned man yelled as he got up and rushed to the little boy.

"But father, if I don't then I won't be able to got to the Academy."

"WHAT!" he was losing his composure, his baby has been sexually harassed. "Who told you that? Who, Sasuke, Who?" He asked him as he shakes his son for an answer.

Sasuke have never saw his father this mad before, Did he react the same when Itachi went to the academy? "I think his name was Iruka-sensei."

Iruka Umino, he knew the bastard, he was right, no one could be that nice of a person, especially when it comes teaching spoiled brats. "What did he exactly did he said to you?" The more he knew, the more charges he could press against him. He was going to make sure that, that bastard would rot in prison. Death sentence would be too soft for an punishment. He wanted to torture the ill, sick bastard. He would make him suffer, he was already coming up with ideas. No one would hurt (or attempt to), his baby and get away with it.

"That I need to fill everything out and then come back to see him."

"Fill what out?"

"Let me show you." Sasuke walked to his room, his father stepping madly the wooden floor behind him.

Once in his room, the six years old open his drawer from his desk, and took out a sheet of paper and handle to his father.

Fugaku looked at the sheet and read.

**Ninja Academy Enrollment Basic Information Form**

**Name: **_Uchiha Sasuke_

**Age: **_Six_

**Date of birth: **_July 23, XXXX_

**Allergies: **_None_

**Weight: **_45 lb_

**Height: **_4'2"_

**Sex: _**

**Parents Signature:_**

"I wanted to surprised you, and do everything by myself. I'm almost done."

"Sasuke, is this the reason of your question?"

"Yes father, How I'm supposed to write down everything you told me in such small line. And Why would they would want us to? If they are adults shouldn't they know already? Considering that the Hokage was married."

"Sasuke, that for another meaning for the term. Is asking you if you are a male or female. You have to write down male, since you are a boy. Besides, this is not for kids to fill out, you should have come to me or your mother to do this. Were you planning on forge my signature?" Fugaku scolded his son.

"No father, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I will not do it again. I'm sorry." Sasuke said looking down.

"It's ok Sasuke," the older Uchiha said, holding the bridge of his nose, a headache was coming up, it was all a misunderstanding, "Is just that what I told you is complete different meaning that this form is asking. What I told you, I wished for you to know in your early teens. That is not a thing a child like you should know."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"I know, you didn't." He let out a big sigh.

"It's not funny!" Fugaku yelled to his wife, his cheeks were red of anger and embarrassment.

"Then why I am laughing?" She giggled as she stirred the stew.

It's been a couple of hours since Sasuke got his so longed answer. When Mikoto arrived, Sasuke was napping, he was still napping. Sleep crawled to his after his father fixed him a tomato snack. 'Lets keep his mouth occupied, before he asks more questions.'

"I am serious Mikoto. He is just a child. He was not supposed to know that until later on. And you used that to take revenge upon me, because of something that happens months ago."

"Oh, come on. You would had to tell him anyways. The sooner the better. At least he would be prepared when he get his first... you know. 'Awaking'."

"Mikoto!" He scold her from the table. She laughed even harder, and he blushed redder.

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><p><em><strong>AN: so there was the last chapter, I hope you enjoyed, and as I said in the summary, was inspired on a joke. I wasn't sure if write down the 'Talk', but I didn't feel very comfortable on writing about that (can read it, thinking it, but not writing it, no yet) , and not sure how would Fugaku explain that to a kid, I do not remember getting the talk at all, not who could gave it to me or if I get it at all.**_

**_I will have this story be reviewed and edited by my beta, to fix up what I might be mistaken._**

_**Thank you for all the faves, fallows views and reviews!**_


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